ART couples therapy in Provo, Utah
1. FAQ about ART couples therapy:
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“My relationship is struggling, am I the problem?”
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“How can I get my partner to change?”
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“Why do we keep having the same arguments?”
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“Why do I feel disconnected from my partner?”
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“Why do we never seem to resolve anything?”
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“Do I need individual therapy or couples therapy, or both?”
Sometimes the challenges we experience in relationships are connected to patterns we’ve carried for years – ways of coping, communicating, protecting ourselves, or seeking connection.
Accelerated Resolution Therapy in Provo, Utah can help your relationship therapy by helping discover these deeply held, ineffective habits and create more effective behaviors to resolve relationship stressors.
3. What are the core contributors to relationship problems?
Something to consider if you want the very best couples therapist.
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As an ART couples therapist in Provo, Utah I have found that addressing relationship issues such as communication, conflict resolution etc., to be metaphorically like putting "icing on a cake". When the bottom layer of a tiered cake is crumbling and falling apart, putting icing and decorations on the cake won't do much good.
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I take each part of the partnership separately to help them repair their crumbling foundations through trauma work, so that together they can start to work on other issues such as communication, conflict management, emotional vulnerability, and problem solving.
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Whether you’re struggling in your relationship with others or within yourself, relationship therapy can provide a space to slow down, reflect, and create meaningful change by addressing stuck issues with the help of ART.
Our relationships can be one of the greatest sources of connection, meaning, and joy - but they can also cause our deepest pain. In our relationships we sometimes blame ourselves for every problem we face. We think, "If I try harder, maybe the relationship will improve" or "if I were better, this wouldn't happen". The expectation of rejection or fear of abandonment could indicate a deeper problem in the relationship. Fear of intimacy, people-pleasing, or strong emotional reactions to conflict could all be signs of unresolved trauma.
2. How your relationship problems can stem from trauma.
Unresolved trauma often shows up most clearly in our relationships - with partners, family and even ourselves.
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Relationship struggles rarely begin in the relationship itself.
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Our earliest experiences teach us what to expect from love, trust, safety, and conflict.
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If those experiences involved trauma, abandonment, criticism, or emotional neglect, those patterns can continue into our adult relationships.
1. Shame - Shame is the intensely painful feeling where we fear that if someone sees who we truly are, they will no longer want to love us, connect with us, or respect us. Shame is a universal emotion that everyone experiences and is directly correlated to depression, anxiety, addiction, suicidality, and the breakup of relationships. Connection is what brings meaning to our lives and is absolutely vital for human survival. Knowing that shame can destroy our connections with others, it is important to understand shame, how past experiences or traumas have contributed to shame, and how to be more resilient to shame on a day-to-day basis.
2. Negative core beliefs - A negative core belief is a deeply held belief about ourselves, others, or the world that has been unknowingly reinforced over time. That person's truth has been strengthened as a result of possible difficult life circumstances. This can be so deeply held that people tend to interpret situations as a reinforcement of that belief and refuse to believe otherwise, regardless of all the evidence to the contrary. For example, perhaps someone was raised in a very critical household and grew up with the belief that the world is mean and punishing. They may have used this belief to keep them safe from being hurt or emotionally abused. They believe being emotionally vulnerable will cause them pain and problems and so they keep their emotional struggles to themselves. Negative core beliefs can play a big role in the underlying issue with couples, whether it be about communication, emotional vulnerability, or ways of dealing with stress.
3. Unresolved trauma - Traumatic experiences from your past can directly your relationship with your partner, your family and friends, or even with yourself. Perhaps a stressor in a relationship triggers your memory from a past trauma and your automatic response is to avoid it all together (a very common PTSD response - avoidance). Maybe you are triggered by a memory of sexual abuse, making you numb out and freeze up during intimate moments with your partner. If you feel like you potentially have an unresolved trauma that could be contributing to your relationships, don't wait any longer to contact me!
4. How can ART couples therapy in Provo, Utah help my relationship?
Every relationship brings together two separate lives with two different sets of experiences. It isn't uncommon for relationships to occasionally struggle when those experiences don't line up perfectly.
The goal of ART couples therapy in Provo, Utah is not to determine who is right or wrong, but to create a space to understand the patterns, emotions, and potential negative core beliefs that may be contributing to conflict or disconnection.
Most of the time when couples are seeing cracks in their relationships, their individual foundations could have been compromised before even meeting each other.
Your ART couples therapy
treatment process, step-by-step.
