Holly Lamb, LCSW
Therapy for Betrayal Trauma
You're trying to heal from something that once made you feel safe but is now causing you to question your reality. The discovery of a betrayal can change everything. Whether you've learned of infidelity, hidden behaviors or addictions, deception, or another breach of trust, you are feeling emotions you never expected to experience. Reach out today so we can work toward an understanding of your emotional responses, process the impact of the betrayal, and reconnect with your own strength and clarity.
1
What is betrayal trauma?
Betrayal trauma is just as it implies, trauma that results from a form of the betrayal of your trust. Betrayal trauma is a unique type of trauma but is more common than many people like to admit. When discovering a betrayal within a relationship it can shatter a person’s sense of safety, normalcy, trust, and reality. Victims of betrayal aren’t just grieving what happened but they’re now questioning themselves and their judgement. Maybe you’re questioning,
1. “How did I not see this going on right in front of me?”
2. “Can I ever trust again?”
3. “Why can’t I stop thinking about it?”
4. “Am I overreacting?”
One of the most painful emotional experiences is that of betrayal. Whether you just discovered a partner’s hidden addiction, a long-term affair, or any other kind of sexual dishonesty or infidelity, you are probably feeling like your life is crumbling apart. You are most likely struggling with the decision to end the relationship or try to work through issues. Maybe you’ve been trying to fix things for months or even years, but the dishonest behavior continues. You probably find yourself constantly replaying events, searching for answers, questioning your instincts, or realizing the lack of trust in your relationship could ultimately put you on a path that you really don’t want to travel.
2
I feel like I'm going crazy now that I know. Why?
After betrayal, it is common to experience intense anxiety, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, emotional outbursts, anger, grief, and a loss of confidence in yourself and others. These responses are not signs of weakness. They are often signs that your mind and body are trying to make sense of this profound rupture in trust. Many survivors of betrayal trauma are not only grieving what happened they are trying to make sense of their lives not knowing where to go from there. You may wonder whether you can trust your judgment, emotions, or perceptions. Part of healing involves rebuilding trust not just in your relationship, but within yourself.
3
How can therapy help me feel better?
It has been shown that the body will often experience reactions to betrayal that are similar to those of PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder: hypervigilance, negative mood or cognitions, flashbacks, avoidance, or fear of physical harm or loss of life. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is designed to help heal trauma in the mind and body. In my own experience with betrayal trauma, I was able to feel the healing effects of ART which gave me a clearer sense of what happened and instilled feelings of comfort, resolution and direction.
Whether you are hoping to rebuild your relationship, trying to decide what comes next, or simply seeking stability amid the chaos, ART can help you make those decisions clearly, as it removes the "foggy brain" that comes with trauma. Together, we’ll focus on helping you regain a sense of stability, understand your emotional responses, and process the impact of the betrayal, giving you the ability to make decisions that are best for you.
